Imagine you have friends coming round for brunch. You go get two types of bread, fresh yogurt, hummus etc. You cube five different types of fruit and lay a really nice table. You even make sure the lawn is mowed (well, not really). and are pleased with your abilities as a host. Perhaps you even feel a bit smug. Such a grown-up.
When your friends come round, guess what they get excited about: None of the above. Instead, they’ll fight over the tiny teacup full of zucchini butter you just threw together five minutes before they arrived which was when you realised you hadn’t bought any salty spread.
This is how to do it:
Pour 1 tbsp olive oil in a pot on high heat (health & safety warning: actually, use a type of fat that doesn’t turn carcerogenic when heated). Grate half a courgette using the small-holed side of your grater, give it a little stir in the pot and go away. I mean it. I know the urge to stir when things start sticking to the bottom of the pot, but you’ll actually want this to burn a little, for flavour (health & safety warning: burnt food is cancerogenic, too! Perhaps better go find a recipe that won’t kill you).
When it starts to smell really, really burnt, take the pot off the heat, quickly add a tbsp butter and give in to the urge to stir. Feel better now? Scrape the brown and dark brown bits off, but leave the black bits sticking to the pot. Turn the heat down, put the pot back, salt, add a pinch of granulated garlic and keep stirring and scraping the burnt-in-a-good-way bits in with the rest. It should look spreadable and kind of melted by now. If it’s not done yet or too dry, add a touch more butter and put the lid on to retain the moisture until you like the texture. Let it cool and serve with fresh bread.
Picture will follow as soon as I find my USB cable.